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Ariel Sheeger

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3 Ways to Improve Communication in Relationships

The number one ingredient to any healthy and stable relationship is good communication. When communication is poor, relationships break down.

Whether they are platonic, romantic or revolve around business, your relationships will thrive if you improve your communication with others. Here’s how:

Be Fully Present

Trust and respect must be earned by both parties. And this requires giving each other your full attention. Keep distractions like cell phones out of the conversation. Make eye contact and fully listen to what the other person is saying and how they are saying it.

Use “I” Statements

One of the biggest things that make a person tune out during a conversation is when they are told they are doing something wrong. YOU do this or YOU do that is not the best way to get your feelings across.

Try using more “I” statements. These statements focus on your feelings without casting blame on the other person.

So as an example, instead of saying, “You’re always late!” You can instead say, “I worry when you haven’t shown up and I haven’t heard from you.”

See the difference?

Avoid Negative Communication Patterns

Poor communication is typically the result of negative communication patterns. These include things like passive aggressiveness, ignoring the other person when they are speaking, and yelling.

While you may not be able to change your own negative communication patterns overnight, you can commit to becoming more aware of them and when they happen, stop the pattern and change it.

These are just some of the ways you can improve your communication with others. You may also want to seek the guidance of a couples’ therapist who can offer you even more strategies and a safe space to share your feelings.

If you’d like to explore counseling, please reach out to me. I’d love to help you reconnect with your partner.

SOURCES:

https://positivepsychology.com/communication-in-relationships/

https://www.verywellmind.com/communication-in-relationships-why-it-matters-and-how-to-improve-5218269

https://us.calmerry.com/blog/relationships/9-ways-to-improve-communication-in-your-relationship/

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Introducing Your New Partner to Your Parents

Falling in love is amazing. You and the other person talk on the phone for hours, complete each other’s sentences, and give each other butterflies when you see each other in person. Life feels perfect. Could this special someone be “the one?”

Well, before you can spend the rest of your life together, you’ve first got to introduce your new partner to your parents. *Gulp*

There is no denying that introducing new partners to parents can be nerve-wracking. What if they don’t like your new girlfriend? What if your boyfriend doesn’t like them?

Here are some suggestions for making that first meeting go as smoothly and peacefully as possible:

Get Them Primed

Parents are far more likely to give this new person a real chance if they know things are serious between you two. So don’t just show up for dinner one day with your S.O. Do a little prep work by sharing photos and stories of how you met, a recent date, etc. When they know this person really matters to you, they’ll be more apt to come to the meeting with an open mind and heart.

Draft Your Siblings

If you have siblings, introduce your partner to them first. No need to make the meeting a big deal, keep it casual. Take your S.O. with you when you swing by your brother’s place to pick up those golf clubs. Text your sister to have her stop by the diner. If you can show how happy you are to your siblings, they’ll pass this information on to your parents.

Chill

Your new partner shouldn’t feel like they are going on a job interview. If they are anxious, worried or nervous, how can they really be themselves? If you are relaxed, they will feel relaxed.

And last but not least, remember that your parents love you and just want what’s best for you. At the end of the day, they just want you to be happy. So don’t be to outraged if they don’t warm up immediately.

SOURCES:

https://lifehacker.com/how-to-introduce-a-new-partner-to-your-parents-1847030548

https://www.romper.com/p/7-ways-to-introduce-a-new-partner-to-your-family-avoid-a-meet-the-parents-situation-3520

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Conflict Resolution Strategies for Couples

Conflict is natural, and every couple will experience it at some point in their relationship. The difference between a couple who can navigate this conflict and those who allow conflict to break their bond comes down to proven conflict resolution strategies.

The following are highly effective strategies every couple can use to get to the other side of a conflict in a loving and respectful way:

Create a Safe Space

When an argument begins, how many of us go into it with the intent of “winning” or proving the other person wrong? Having this intention is a recipe for disaster and resentment.

To resolve conflict, you and your partner need to establish respectful rules. These can include:

  • No yelling
  • No name-calling
  • No physical aggression
  • No foul language
  • No blaming or shaming

Without a safe space to interact, no real communication can take place.

Validate the Other Person’s Feelings

Resolving conflict requires validation of both partners’ feelings. When you place blame on the other or state that they are somehow wrong, they will feel unheard and misunderstood. And arguing from this place will never lead to resolution of the original conflict.

Acknowledge your partner’s feelings. Listen fully when they speak. Make eye contact (stay off your phone!). Nod while they are speaking. Thank them for sharing their thoughts and feelings with you.

You will be amazed at how much different things go when you validate your partner.

Find the Middle-Ground

Conflict resolution ultimately relies on both of you being able to come to a compromise. Look for ways to find that balance between what the both of you want and what you are comfortable with.

Get Help

Depending on the root cause of the conflict, professional counseling may be warranted. A couple most likely can navigate an argument that stems from someone not doing their fair share of chores. But a conflict that is rooted in, say, financial trouble or an infidelity, may warrant professional help.

If you and your partner seem to be unable to resolve your conflicts on your own and would like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me. I would be more than happy to discuss how therapy can help.

SOURCES:

7 Tips for Handling Conflict In Your Relationship

https://psychcentral.com/relationships/conflict-resolution-in-relationships

https://positivepsychology.com/conflict-resolution-relationships/

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