Relationship therapy explores the patterns and forces at work within your partnership. For those enduring conflict, jealousy, anger/ resentment, hopelessness in the future of your relationship, life changes, decrease in desire/passion (or it was never there)—relationship therapy can be very beneficial.
Those in so many types of relationships may be helped by relationship therapy:
- Partners experiencing a lack of intimacy or lost connection
- Partners struggling with frequent arguing
- Relationships facing infidelity
- Partners who live together, live separately, are married, are considering break up/divorce
- Partners who are in or are considering unconventional relationship arrangements (poly, open relationships, consensual nonmonogamy)
I utilize a model of couples counseling that primarily comes from Crucible® Therapy. This therapy, started by Dr. David Schnarch started out as an integrated treatment for sex, intimacy, and relationship troubles. it is an approach utilized by therapists internationally. The focus is to discover and maximize your relationship’s intimacy and passion through the exploration of your current sexual issues.
Together we will focus on personal growth or differentiation. Differentiation is the key to managing your anxiety, hear your partner (even when what they are saying isn’t easy to hear), soothe reactivity, and respond in the ways you want to be heard. By increasing your differentiation you can become more interdependent—less co-dependant (meaning unable to be you or speak up for yourself) or independent (meaning withdrawn or lonely in your relationship).
An important part of the work is recognizing and understanding the very natural patterns of conflict in your relationship and how they developed. Together we will get to know these patterns so well that rather than feeling judgment, anger, or sadness about them—you are able to see them, not as what is “going wrong” but what is going right AND the key to each partner’s growth.
No matter your race, religion, culture, ethnicity, gender, or sexual orientation, relationship troubles will arise. Even happy couples experience what Dr. David Schnarch calls emotional gridlock. Emotional gridlock “is not resolvable by conventional conflict-resolution methods such as enhanced communication, compromise and negotiation, or agreeing to disagree. It’s not caused by lack of communication. And the hallmark of gridlock is you can’t agree to disagree and you don’t feel you can compromise any further.” * You can read more about this on the Crucible® Therapy website.
Our work will include sessions together (sometimes individually), readings, and worksheets when appropriate. We can collaborate during our work together to determine when and which supplementary materials will be most effective for you and speak to you personally.