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March 13, 2023 by Ariel Sheeger Leave a Comment

Effects of Child Abuse on Adult Survivors

Each year in this country millions of children are the victims of child abuse at the hands of parents, guardians and other adults. Whether this abuse is physical, sexual, verbal or emotional, it can leave scars on their heart and psyche for many years.

Here are just some of the long-term effects of child abuse on adult survivors:

Forming Healthy Bonds and Relationships

The lingering effects of childhood abuse make it very difficult to trust others and form normal, healthy connections. Survivors may find it particularly difficult to maintain successful romantic relationships as they may not be able to ever let their guard down and be truly vulnerable with their partner. 

Developing Health Conditions

Childhood abuse can eventually take a toll on our physical health and wellbeing. In fact, an NIH study suggests that certain symptoms are common in abuse victims, particularly in women who experienced sexual abuse as a child. Symptoms range from back pain to eating disorders, nightmares, severe headaches and even fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue.

A Lack of Confidence

All children should feel safe and secure growing up. In a normal, healthy childhood, a child can emotionally attach to one or more adults who make them feel safe and secure. But in a childhood where the individual suffered some form of abuse, they may never have been able to form trusting bonds with others. And a lack of these secure attachments can negatively impact our ability to interact with the world around us as adults.

Getting the Help You Need to Move Through the Trauma

If you’re an adult who survived childhood abuse, there is help out there for you. While you cannot change the past, you can heal from the trauma so you can change your present and future.  

If you would like to explore treatment in a safe and secure setting, please reach out to me. I am here to provide the tools and safe space in which to explore and process your trauma. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and you can have the amazing life you know you deserve.

SOURCES:

https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/what-to-know-adult-survivor-child-abuse

https://www.okrehab.org/mental-health-guide/how-child-abuse-affects-adult-survivors/

How the Effects of Child Abuse Can Impact Us as Adults

Filed Under: child abuse, trauma

January 6, 2023 by Ariel Sheeger Leave a Comment

What is Emotional Incest?

Many of us grew up in households that were dysfunctional, where boundaries between parents and adults were blurred in unhealthy ways. Emotional incest is not of a sexual nature, but it does describe unhealthy emotional interactions between adults and children that are psychologically inappropriate.

What this looks like in a real-life is a parent treating their child as a partner, relying on them for emotional support and care. Here are some of the classic ways parents cross this line:

Asking a Child for Advice

When a parent turns to their child for advice about marital issues, sexual problems, financial worries, etc. this blurs the boundaries and causes the child to feel anxiety they should not be privy to.

Ego Booster

Narcissistic parents often look to their children to give them a much-needed ego boost. With the parent’s ego being a priority, the child’s emotional needs take a backseat.

BFF Syndrome

A parent should never be best friends with their child as this results in many boundaries being blurred. And a child should never be a trusted confidante to their parent.

Therapist

Parents that turn to their child for comfort during an emotional crisis rob the child of learning age-appropriate socialization. These children will, most likely, grow into codependent adults, seeking approval from others by taking care of THEIR emotional needs.

Emotional Incest Outcomes

Emotional incest is sometimes called “covert” incest because while it’s not sexual, the outcomes of this family dynamic are often similar.

  • Trouble setting healthy boundaries
  • Eating disorders
  • Self-harm
  • Low self-esteem
  • Sexual intimacy issues
  • Substance abuse/addiction
  • Obsessive/compulsive issues

Healing from Emotional Incest

When a child grows up and leaves the unhealthy environment and dynamic, that does not mean they won’t experience any lasting repercussions. Most adults will suffer from at least one of the outcomes I just listed.

The good news is, through counseling, victims of emotional incest can heal and live a healthy and satisfying life filled with strong emotional connections.

If you believe you are suffering from lingering effects of emotional incest and would like to speak to someone who specializes in this area, please reach out to me.

SOURCES:

  • https://psychcentral.com/blog/emotional-incest-when-is-close-too-close#1
  • https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/emotional-covert-incest-when-parents-make-their-kids-partners-0914165
  • https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/surviving-thriving/201812/is-it-possible-be-too-close-your-parent-or-child

Filed Under: family, trauma

January 3, 2023 by Ariel Sheeger Leave a Comment

What Is Trauma-Informed Care?

According to CDC data, 1 in 4 children experiences some form of trauma or abuse in their childhood. More sobering statistics indicate that 1 in 5 women and 1 in 71 men have experienced rape at some point in their lives. These numbers suggest that many people, male and female, young and old, have and will experience trauma in their lifetime.  

Treating Health in People with Trauma 

If you’ve ever gone to the doctor or been treated at an emergency room, you know that the entire scenario can feel incredibly invasive. Sensitive questions are often asked, intimate body parts may need to be examined, and the medical treatment may be uncomfortable and even painful. 

How can medical professionals provide quality healthcare to people who have experienced some form of trauma in their past? Through trauma-informed care. 

What is Trauma-Informed Care? 

Trauma-informed care is an approach to healthcare with a focus on safety, empowerment, and healing. This style of care is particularly helpful for sexual abuse survivors.  

Of course, a provider would never ask a prospective or new patient if they have experienced serious trauma in the past. Instead, it is simply assumed that each individual may have experienced some form of trauma and acted accordingly. This can mean many different things but typically it means clear and gentile communication. It means inviting the patient to speak to their needs if they need a break from a painful or embarrassing exam. It also means allowing a family member to be present during the exam if need be. 

The bottom line is, that trauma-informed care puts the mental and emotional needs on equal footing with a patient’s physical needs at that moment. It is an approach that requires compassion and a desire to heal the entire person. 

SOURCES: 

  • https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/trauma-informed-care-what-it-is-and-why-its-important-2018101613562 
  • https://www.ahrq.gov/ncepcr/tools/healthier-pregnancy/fact-sheets/trauma.html 
  • https://www.traumapolicy.org/topics/trauma-informed-care 

Filed Under: trauma

November 30, 2022 by Ariel Sheeger Leave a Comment

Overcoming Generational Trauma

You know you got your hairline from your Dad’s side of the family and your eye color from your mom. You know diabetes runs in your family, as does heart disease and Parkinson’s.

But do you know that many families also pass down trauma to their loved ones? It’s not just our physical makeup and risk of disease that we inherit from our family, it is also the emotional wounds as well.

What is Transgenerational Trauma?

Before you were born you were in your mother’s womb and very susceptible to her emotions. As your mother felt joy, her body released hormones that made you feel joy.

When she felt sad, scared, or angry, her body released hormones that made her experience these same emotions.

Eventually, you were born and raised in a house that may not always be happy or harmonious. Your parents may have been emotionally distant or even abusive because they may have been brought up by parents who had their own reasons for being emotionally absent or abusive.

Many families have unresolved trauma that works its way through one generation to the next. Those families who have dealt with addiction, depression, anxiety, terror, racism, and the like, often continue to pass on negative emotions, poor behaviors, low self-esteem, and maladaptive coping strategies. These not only lead to a painful and hard life, but they can also lead to chronic health conditions.

It Can Stop With You!

If you have a history of family conflict or trauma, you can be the individual who puts an end to the cycle. You can be the one who begins a new cycle, one of passing down loving communication and positive self-images. 

Of course, it will take work on your part to overcome the pain of your family history. That’s why it’s a good idea to work with a mental health professional who can offer you the right tools and coping strategies that you can then pass down to your own children.

If you’re interested in exploring therapy, please get in touch with me! I’d love to help you end the cycle of trauma in your family.

SOURCES:

  • https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-flourishing-family/202107/breaking-the-chains-generational-trauma
  • https://tinybuddha.com/blog/overcoming-intergenerational-trauma-we-can-break-the-cycle-of-abuse/
  • https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/latinx-mental-health-stigma

Filed Under: trauma




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